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Joke 71
80,000 Sardarji's meet for the "Sardarjis Are Not Stupid Convention."
Santa Singh, the emcee says, "We are all here today to prove to the world that
Sardarjis are not stupid. Can I have a volunteer?"
One Sardarji steps up. Santa Singh asks him, "What is 15 plus 15?"
After 15 or 20 seconds, he says, "Eighteen."
Obviously, everyone is a little disappointed. Then 80,000 sardarjis start
cheering, "Give him another chance! Give him another chance!"
Santa Singh says, "Well, since we've gone to the trouble of getting 80,000 of
you here and the world wide press, I guess we can give him another chance"
So he says, "What is 5 plus 5?"
After nearly 30 seconds, the sardarji eventually says, "Ninety?"
Santa Singh sighs, everyone is crest fallen and the sardarji starts crying.
80,000 sardarjis start yelling, "Give him another chance! Give him another
chance!"
Santa Singh, unsure whether or not he is doing more harm than damage, eventually
says, "Ok! One more chance. What is 2 plus 2?"
The sardarji closes his eyes and after a whole minute eventually says, "Four."
Around the stadium 80,000 sardarjis start yelling "Give him another chance! Give
him another chance!"
Joke 72
This Sardarji goes to the doctor and says "Doc, I ache all over. Everywhere I
touch it hurts."
The doctor says "OK. Touch your elbow."
The Sardarji touches his elbow and winces in genuine pain. The doctor,
surprised, says "Touch your head." The Sardarji touches his head and jumps in
agony. The doctor asks him to touch his knee and the same thing happens.
Everywhere the Sardar touches it hurts like hell. The doctor is stumped and
orders a complete examination with x-rays, etc. and tells the Sardar to come
back in two days.
Two days later the Sardar comes back and the doctor says: "We've found your
problem."
"Oh yeah? What is it?"
"You've broken your finger.
Joke 73
A Sardar walked into a household appliances store. The owner was busy tallying
his accounts and his eyes were glued to his ledgers. The Sardar asked the owner,
"I want that VCR."
Without taking his eyes off the ledger, the owner replied ,"No, Sardar, that is
not for you."
Our Sardar felt insulted. He thought that the shop keeper was biased against
Sardars. Next day he arrived at the shop clean shaven and without his headgear.
He asked for the same VCR. The owner who was again busy tallying his accounts
replied without raising his head, "No, Sardar, that is not for you".
The Sardar was perplexed. How could the shop keeper guess correctly that he was
a Sardar? So the next day, the Sardar went to the same shop disguised as a
woman, in churidar and pyjama, head covered with dupatta and asked the same VCR.
The shopkeeper again replied without raising his head, "No, Sardar, that is not
for you".
Puzzled the Sardar asked the shop keeper how he guessed that he was a Sardar
without raising his head. "Very simple", said the shopkeeper, "That is not a
VCR. That is a Washing machine!"
Joke 74
Rajiv: Zail Singhji, How is your MBA preparation?
Zail Singh: Everything is fine, but I could not understand Logic.
Rajiv : Logic is very easy.
Zail Singh: Can you give me an example, so that I can understand?
Rajiv: OK. Do you have fish pot in your house?
Zail : YES.
Rajiv: Logically, there will be water in it.
Zail : YES.
Rajiv: Logically, there will be fish in it.
Zail : YES.
Rajiv: Logically, someone will be feeding the fish.
Zail: YES.
Rajiv: I take a guess that your wife will be feeding the fish.
Zail : YES.
Rajiv: So, Logically, you are married.
Zail: YES.
Rajiv : So, that means you are a heterosexual.
Zail Singh was very glad and he understood logic. Next day he meets Buta Singh
who was also preparing for his MBA exams.
Zail: How is your MBA preparation?
Buta : Everything is fine except for the logic.
Zail : Oh,logic is easy.
Buta : Can you please explain it to me?
Zail : Do you have a fish pot in your house?
Buta : NO, I don't.
Zail : Saala HOMO!!!
Joke 75
Little Santa Singh was doing very badly in math. His parents had tried
everything; tutors, flash cards, special learning centers, in short, everything
they could think of. Finally in a last ditch effort, they took Santa down &
enrolled him in the local Christian Missionary School. After the first day,
little Santa comes home with a very serious look on his face. He doesn't kiss
his mother hello. Instead, he goes straight to his room & starts studying. Books
& papers are spread out all over the room and little Santa is hard at work. His
mother is amazed. She calls him down to dinner and to her shock, the minute he
is done he marches back to his room without a word and in no time he is back
hitting the books as hard as before. This goes on for sometime, day after day
while the mother tries to understand what made all the difference.
Finally, little Santa brings home his report card. He quietly lays it on the
table and goes up to his room and hits the books. With great trepidation, his
mom looks at it and to her surprise, little Santa got an A in math. She can no
longer hold her curiosity. She goes to his room and says: "Santa, what was it?
Was it the nuns?"
Little Santa looks at her and shakes his head. "Well then", she replies, "was it
the books, the discipline, the structure, the uniforms, WHAT was it?"
Little Santa looks at her and says, "Well, on the first day of school, when I
saw that guy nailed to the plus sign, I realised what they do those who don't do
well in Maths."
Joke 76
Three dead bodies turn up at the mortuary, all with very big smiles on their
faces. A Detective Inspector is sent and is taken straight to the first body.
"This guy was an Englishman, 60, died of heart failure while making love to his
mistress. Hence the enormous smile Inspector", says the mortuary chief. The DI
nods understandingly and is taken to the second dead man. "This was an American,
25, won 124 million dollars in the PowerBall, spent it all on booze. Died of
alcohol poisoning, hence the contented smile." "Nothing unusual here", thinks
the DI, and asks to be shown the last body. "Ah," says the chief, "this is the
most unusual one, a Sardar, 30, struck by lightning." "Why is he smiling then?"
inquires the Inspector. "Thought he was having his picture taken," replies the
chief.
Joke 77
Dhakaal Singh left for work one Friday afternoon. But, being payday, instead of
going home, he stayed out the entire weekend partying with the boys - Santa,
Banta and Puppy Singh, and spending his entire paycheck.
When he finally appeared at home, Sunday night, he was confronted by a very
angry wife Kewalnayan Kaur and was barraged for nearly two hours with a tirade
befitting his actions.
Finally Kewalnayan Kaur stopped the nagging and simply said to him, "How would
you like it if you didn't see me for two or three days?"
To which Dhakaal Singh replied, "That would be fine with me."
Monday went by and he didn't see Kewlanayan. Tuesday and Wednesday came and went
with the same results. Come Thursday, the swelling went down just enough where
he could see her a little out of the corner of his left eye.
Joke 78
In a party Banta Singh's friends asked him how many chappathis he could eat in
an empty stomach. Banta replied "Seven". Then his friend told him "When you eat
the first chappathi your stomach is no longer empty. Then how can you eat
seven??"
Banta was impressed by this tricky question. So as soon as he went back home he
asked his wife "How many chappathis can you eat in an empty stomach??". She
replied "Five". Then Banta said: "If only you had told seven I had a nice reply
for it".
Joke 79
A sardarji with two red ears went to his doctor. The doctor asked him what had
happened to his ears and he answered, ;I was ironing a shirt and the phone rang
- but instead of picking up the phone I accidentally picked up the iron and
stuck it to my ear.
Oh Dear!; the doctor exclaimed in disbelief. But ... what happened to the other
ear?
The scoundrel called back.
Joke 80
Two sardarjis were sitting outside a clinic. One of them was crying like
anything. So the other asked, "Why are you crying?" The first one replied, "I
came here for blood test". Second one asked, "So? Are you afraid?" First one
replied, "No, not that. During the blood test they cut my finger" Hearing this
the second one started crying. The first one was astonished and asked the other,
"Why are you crying?" The other replied, "I have come for a urine test."
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