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Joke 51
Once a NRI Lady went to Janpath for shopping. She suddenly remembered that she
has an important appointment. She was not wearing a watch so she asked a sardar
what the time was? He replied: "Bra Panties." The lady again asked what the time
was. The reply was the same. Then the lady told a person standing nearby the
problem. Then the sardar explained, "I am giving you the time. It is barah
pantees(12:35).
Joke 52
Santa and Banta now live in different cities. Once when Santa visits Banta's
city he phones him and asks him to come see him at his hotel ... Room # 446.
Banta is Excited and makes his way across town to see his long time friend. On
reaching the Hotel all he can remember of the Room # is that it ends with a 46.
He speaks to the Lobby Manager who tells him there are five floors in the Hotel
and he could check them all for numbers ending with 46 (146,246,346 etc).
Banta goes to the first floor-- room no.146 opens the door and sees that a
couple are making love, he quickly shuts the door and runs to the second floor.
He now goes to room no. 246 and opens the door -- he gets surprised to see two
gays making love. He runs to the third floor now to room no. 346 and opens the
door. As soon as he opens the door he gets very embarassed to see two women
making love, so now he runs to the fourth floor.
When he opens the door of room no. 446 he gets satisfied to see Santa sitting
there who also looks very satisfied.
Banta: "You should have seen what happened today" ??
Santa: "what happened ??"
Banta: "I forgot your room no except that it ends in 46 so I went to Room #146
and there a 'He' and 'She' were making love and then i went to #246 and there a
'He' and 'He were making love and then I went to #346 and a 'She' and 'She' were
making love..
Santa: "Thank god you didn't come 5 mins earlier".
Banta: "why"?
Santa: "Because here in #446 'Me' and 'Me' were making love".
Joke 53
Why does a Sardar keep empty beer bottles in his fridge?
They're there for those who don't drink.
Why do Sardars have see-through lunch box lids?
So that when they're on the train they can tell if they're going to work or
coming home.
Why are Sardar secret agents the best in the world?
Because even under torture they can't remember what they have been assigned to!
Joke 54
Jogi Singh was making a documentary on Indian tribes. For this, he went to the
deep jungles for the details. One day, Jogi Singh was walking along with two
tribals in the jungle, when, all of a sudden, one of the tribals took off and
ran up a hill to the mouth of a cave. The tribal stopped and hollered into the
cave... "Woooooo! Woooooo! Woooooo!" and then listened very closely until he
heard the answer..."Woooooo! Woooooo! Woooooo!" He then tore off his clothes and
ran in to the cave. Jogi Singh was puzzled and asked the other tribal what that
was all about, was that person mad or something. "No", said the other tribal.
"It is mating time for us tribals and when you see a cave and holler, "Woooooo!
Woooooo! Woooooo!", and get an answer back, that means that she is in there
waiting for you. Well, just about that time, the other tribal saw another cave.
He took off and ran up to the cave, then stopped and hollered, "Woooooo! Woooooo!
Woooooo!" When he heard the return, "Woooooo! Woooooo! Woooooo!", off came the
clothes and into the cave he goes.
Jogi Singh started running around the forest looking for a cave to find these
women that the tribals had talked about. All of a sudden, he looked up and saw
this great big cave. As he looked in amazement, he was thinking, "Man! Look at
the size of that cave! It's bigger then the ones that those tribals found. There
must really be something really great in this cave!" Well... he took-off up the
hill with his hopes of ecstasy and grandeur. He got in front of the cave and
hollered, "Woooooo! Woooooo! Woooooo!" He was just tickled all over when he
heard the answering call of, "WOOOOOOOOO! WOOOOOOOOO!! WOOOOOOOOO!!! Off came
his clothes and, with a big smile on his face, he raced into the cave. The next
day in the newspaper the headlines read, "NAKED SARDARJI RUN OVER BY FREIGHT
TRAIN CROSSING A TUNNEL"!!
Joke 55
Santa Singh was travelling in a crowded bus. He was carrying the Passport size
photograph of his son (for college admission). Accidently, the photograph fell
down from his pocket. He started searching for it frantically & found the same
on the floor of the bus. Politely, he asked the saree-clad female, standing in
front of him,"Can you lift that saree? I wanna take a photograph"
The rest is history.
He was beaten so badly that he had to be admitted in a hospital. He was
surprised to see Banta Singh on the bed next to him, in a still worse condition.
Banta started to explain his "Adventure". He had gone to a remote village on
some work & due to his high level of intelligence, couldn't finish the work on
time. He had missed the last bus from that place. He couldn't find any Hotel. So
he approached a nearby house and asked the Owner whether he could stay there for
the night.The Owner replied"I have 2 grown up daughters.Sorry,I can't allow you
to stay". He approached the next house and asked whether he could stay there for
the night. The Owner replied,"I have 3 grown up daughters. Sorry,I can't allow
you to stay". He went towards the next house and without taking any risks,
asked," Do you have "grown up" daughters?".
The Owner asked,"WHY?????????"
Banta replied," I wanted to stay here for a night..... "
Joke 56
A Sardar, a Japanese, and a Britisher were lost in the desert. They were driving
around in a Jeep when it broke down, because they had nothing else they decided
to each take a piece of the Jeep as they continued their journey. The Japanese
took the radiator, the Britisher took the seat, and the sardar took the door.
After a while of walking the Britisher asked the Japanese, "I'm confused, why
did you bring the Radiator?"
The Japanese responded, "If I get thirsty, I can drink the fluid."
Next the sardar asked the Britisher, "Why did you bring the seat?"
So the Britisher said, "If I get tired, I am not going to sit on the sand. I can
sit on this comfortable seat."
Finally the Japanese asked the Sardar why he had chosen the door. The sardar
quickly responded to this question, "Well, when I shall feel the need to get
some breeze in this summer all I have to do is roll down the window."
Joke 57
The phone rang in the obituary department of the local newspaper.
"How much does it cost to have an obituary printed"? asked miser Santa Singh.
"It's Rs 50 a word, sir," the clerk replied politely.
"Fine", said Santa Singh after a moment. "Okay then, write this down: 'Banta -
dead'."
"That's all?" asked the clerk disbelievingly.
"That's it."
"I'm sorry sir, I should have told you - there's a five word minimum."
"Yes, you should've," snapped Santa. Now let me think a minute...okay, here
goes: Banta dead. Maruti for Sale."
Joke 58
Banta Singh was painting his living room one hot day.
"Why are you wearing two jackets?" his friend Santa Singh asked him.
"Because," said Banta Singh, "The directions on the can said to put on two
coats."
Joke 59
A sardar and a friend are sitting in a cinema. Just before the break they see a
cactus and in some distance a cowboy. During the break the friend says to the
sardar: "I bet the cowboy will ride into the cactus." The sardar answers: "I do
not believe that." They agree that the loser invites the winner to a bottle of
wine after the film. It turns out that the friend wins. So after the film they
drink together the bottle of wine in a restaurant near the cinema. Then the
friend says: "I must confess that the bet was not fair. I saw the film for the
second time." The sardar replies: "I must also confess, I saw it for the fourth
time, but I did not think that fool would ride into the cactus for the fourth
time."
Joke 60
A Sardar died and went to heaven. When he got to the pearly gate St. Peter told
him that new rules were in effect due to the advances in education on earth. In
order to gain admittance a prospective heavenly soul must answer two questions:
1. Name two days of the week that begin with "T".
1. How many seconds are in a year?
The Sardar thought for a few minutes and answered...
1. The two days of the week that begin with "T" are Today and Tomorrow.
1. There are 12 seconds in a year.
St. Peter said, "OK, I'll buy the Today and Tomorrow, even though it's not the
answer I expected, so your answer is correct. But how did you get 12 seconds in
a year?"
The Sardar replied, "Well, January 2nd, February 2nd,March 2nd, etc...."
St. Peter lets him in without another word.
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