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Joke 41
Santa Singh is Flying from Moscow to Delhi. To his surprise, sitting right
beside him is Gary Kasparov, the world Chess Champion. Santa has always been in
awe of Chess players, and immediately starts up a conversation with Gary about
the nuances of the game etc. Gary says ... "How would You like to Play me for $
500?
Santa: "But you're too damn good".
Gary: "I'll play left handed".
Santa can't resist the bet and accepts. Kasparov, checkmates our Sardar in 8
moves .......
Santa is still scratching his head, as he leaves the airplane. Upon reaching
Amritsar, Santa tells Banta about the game he had with Kasparov.
Banta: "Tu bhi pura buddhu hai Santa". (You're an absolute fool Santa) Santa: "kyon"
(why)?
Banta: "Abe ........ Gary Kasparov Khabbu hai". (Gary Kasparov IS a lefty, no
wonder he beat you left handed).
Joke 42
What do you call a sardar who drinks only beer?
Just-beer Singh.
What do you call a sardar who has only one drink?
Just-one Singh.
A Sardarni terrorist?
Hard Kaur.
Joke 43
One train which was going peacefully on the rail-tracks suddenly deviated from
the tracks and went to the fields nearby and then came back on the tracks. The
passengers were horrified. On the next Railway station the driver was caught :
He was found to be a Sardar . He was questioned . He explained that there was a
man standing on the tracks and he was not moving from there even after lots of
honks etc . Then authorities questioned : Sardarji are you mad! just to save the
life of one person you put the lives of so many passengers in danger. You should
have run over that person . Sardar said : Exactly, that is what I also decided,
but this idiot started running towards the field when the train came very close.
Joke 44
Banta Singh was in court charged with parking his car in a restricted area. The
judge asked him if he had anything to say in his defence. "They shouldn't put up
such misleading notices,"said Banta Singh." It said , FINE FOR PARKING HERE."
Joke 45
Travelling together once were a Russian, an American & the saviour of our nation
- Sardarji!!!
Each of them wanted to prove that their country was the greatest.
Said the Russian, " We have a rocket that could touch the sky." "We don't
believe it ",said the others. "Ok! Ok! but just 2 cms. below the sky"
Not to be out done the American said, " We have a submarine that can touch the
ocean-bed of the deepest part on this planet." "We don't believe it ",said the
others. "Ok! Ok! but just 2 cms. above the ocean-bed"
Our hero with a smile on his face said, "In our country we all eat with our
nose!!
Joke 46
Three convicts escaped from prison. One was a Madrasi, one a Gujarati, and one a
Sardar. They ran for miles until they came upon an old barn where they decided
to hide in the hayloft and rest. When they climbed up, they found three large
gunnysacks and decided to climb into them for camouflage.
About an hour later the Prison Warden and his assistant came into the barn. The
warden told his assistant to go up and check out the hayloft. When he got up
there the warden asked him what he saw and the assistant yelled back, "Just
three gunnysacks."
The warden told him to find out what was in them, so the assistant kicked the
first sack, which had the Madrasi in it. He went, "Bow-wow", so the assistant
told the warden there was a dog in it. Then he kicked the sack with the Gujarati
in it. He went, "Meow", so the assistant told the warden there was a cat in it.
Then he kicked the one with the Sardar in it, and there was no sound at all. So
he kicked it again, and finally the Sardar said, "Potatoes".
Joke 47
Sardarji bought a brand new Maruti and decided to drive down from Amritsar,
where he lived, to Jalandar to meet his friend. He reached there in a few hours.
After spending a few days there, he decided to return, and called up his mother
to expect him in the evening. But he didn't reach in the evening and not the
next day either. When he finally reached home on the third day, his distraught
mother ran and asked him " Arre Puttar, ki hoya?" (What Happened, My Son?)
The Sardarji got out, obviously very tired from a long journey, and said, "Oy,
ye Marutti wale pagal hain, agge jaane waaste chaar gear banaate hain, aur
pichche jaane waaste sirf ik?" (These Maruti Car people are crazy! They have
four gears for going forward, but only one for going back!
Joke 48
Santa singh shows up at his friend Banta Singh's place in a brand new red
Ferrari.
Banta: Wow Santa, What a car! Where did you get it from?
Santa: I was walking on the highway when a beautiful lady came in this car and
asked me - "want a ride Mr. Singh ?" I hopped in, and she took me to the woods.
Once in woods she got outside took off clothes and said to me "Mr Singh. Take
anything."
Banta is quite excited and asks: "What did you do Santa?"
Santa: I took the car.
Banta: good show - you wouldn't have fit into her clothes!
Joke 49
Sardar Gurbachan Singh is appearing for his University final examination which
consists of Y/N type questions. He takes his seat in the examination hall,
stares at the question paper for five minutes, and then in a fit of inspiration
takes his wallet out, removes a coin and starts tossing the coin and marking the
answersheet - Y for Heads and N for Tails. Within half an hour he is all done
whereas the rest of the class is sweating it out.
During the last few minutes, he is seen desperately throwing the coin, swearing
and sweating. The invigilator, alarmed, approaches him and asks what is going
on. "Oye, I finished the exam in half and hour". "But yaar", he says, "I am
rechecking my answers and am not able to tally them with what I wrote."
Joke 50
Once upon a time, a Surdar applied to Medical School. Needless to say he never
made it because these are the answers he gave......
QUESTION: Define the following terms?
ANTIBODY - against everyone
ARTERY - the study of fine paintings
ASPHYXIA - get a "Butt Job"
BACTERIA - back door to a cafeteria
BENIGN - what you be after you be eight
BOWEL - letters like a,e,i,o,u
CAESARIAN SECTION - a district in Rome
CARDIOLOGY - advanced study of poker playing
CAT SCAN - searching for lost kitty
CHRONIC - neck of a crow
COMA - punctuation mark
CORTIZONE - area around local courthouse
CYST - short for sister
DIAGNOSIS - person with a slanted nose
DILATE - the late British princess
DISLOCATION - in this place
DUODENUM - couple in jeans
ENEMA - not a friend
FALSE LABOR - pretending to work
FECES - nasty countenance
GALLBLADDER - bladder in a girl
GENES - blue denim
GROIN - to mash to a pulp / smile
HERNIA - she is close by
HYMEN - greeting to several males
IMPOTENT - distinguished, well-known
LABOR PAIN - hurt at work
LACTOSE - person without digits on the foot
LIPOSUCTION - a French kiss
LYMPH - walk unsteadily
MENOPAUSE - I no wait
MICROBES - small dressing gowns
OBESITY - city of Obe
PACEMAKER - winner of Nobel Peace Prize
PROTEIN - in favour of teens
PULSE - grain
PUS - small cat
RED BLOOD COUNT - Dracula
RUPTURE - ecstasy
SECRETION - hiding anything
SEMEN - sailors
SERUM - sailors drink
SUBCUTANEOUS - not cute enough
SUTURE - Gujarati for "what do you want"
TABLET - small table
Barium - What doctors do when patients die.
Cauterize - Made eye contact with her.
Colic.................A sheep dog.
D & C.................Where Washington is.
Dilate................To live long.
Fester................Quicker than someone else.
Fibula................A small lie.
Genital...............Non-Jewish person.
Hangnail..............What you hang your coat on.
Medical Staff.........A Doctor's cane.
Morbid................A higher offer than I bid.
Nitrates..............Cheaper than day rates.
Node..................Was aware of
Outpatient.... .......A person who has fainted.
Pap Smear..... .......A fatherhood test.
Pelvis................Second cousin to Elvis.
Post Operative........A letter carrier.
Recovery Room.........Place to do upholstery.
Rectum................Darn near killed him.
Seizure...............Roman emperor.
Terminal Illness......Getting sick at the Bus Station
Tumor.................More than one
Urine.................Opposite of you're out.
Varicose..............Near by/close by.
Vein..................Conceited.
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