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Joke 111
What is Common between : Krishna, Ram, Gandhi, Jesus Christ..?
Sardarji Replied : All are Born on Government Holidays.
Joke 112
An Irishman, a Mexican, and a Sardar were doing construction work on the 20th
floor of a building. They were eating lunch when the Irishman said, "Corned beef
and cabbage. If I get corned beef and cabbage one more time for lunch, I'm going
to jump off this building."
The Mexican opened his lunch box and said, "Burritos again?? If I get burritos
one more time, I'm going to jump, too."
The Surdar opened his lunch and said, "Parathe again. If I get parathe one more
time, I'm jumping, too."
The Next Day:
The Irishman opens his lunch box, sees corned beef and cabbage and jumps to his
death. The Mexican opens his lunch box, sees a burrito and jumps to his death.
The sardar opens his lunch, sees the parathe and also jumps to his death.
At the funeral, the Irishman's wife is weeping. She says, "If I had known how
tired he was of corned beef and cabbage, I never would have given it to him
again."
The Mexican's wife also weeps and says, "I could have given him tacos or
enchiladas. I didn't realize he hated burritos so much."
Everyone turned and stared at the Sardar's wife, and she said, "Hey, don't look
at me... that dumb-ass used to make his own lunch."
Joke 113
Santa Singh stormed up to the front desk of the library and said, "I have a
complaint!"
"Yes, sir?"
"I borrowed a book last week and it was horrible!"
"What was wrong with it?"
"It had way too many characters and there was no plot whatsoever!"
The librarian nodded and said, "Ahh. So you must be the person who took our
phone book."
Joke 114
Teacher to a Sardar : A=B, B=C, So A=C, Give me an example,
Sardar : I Love You, You Love Your Daughter, So I Love Your Daughter.
Joke 115
Santa and Banta, of limited intelligence, were on a ship that sank in the middle
of the ocean. They managed to inflate a rubber life raft and grab a box of
provisions before their ship slipped under the surface.
After floating under the blazing sun for 6 days, they ran out of food and water.
On the 10th day, bleary eyed and half dead from heat, thirst and starvation,
they spotted a small object floating toward them in the water.
As it drew near, they were ecstatic to find that it was an old oil lamp (the
kind that genies live in). They grabbed the lamp and rubbed it. Out popped a
tired old genie who said, 'OK, so you freed me from the stupid lamp, but hey,
I've been doing this 3-wishes thing for a while now and quite frankly, I'm
burned out. You guys only get 1 wish and then I'm outta here! Make it a good
one!'
Banta without thinking, blurted out, 'give us all the Whiskey we can drink for
the rest of our lives!'
'Fine,' said the genie, and he instantly turned the entire ocean to Whiskey.
'Stupid! Banta, have you gone crazy!' said Santa Singh slapping Banta on the
side of his head. 'Now we're going to have to piss in the boat!'
Joke 116
Sardar bought a new mobile. He called everyone from his Phone Book & said "My
Mobile No. has changed. Earlier it was Nokia 3310 Now it is 6610!!!!"
Joke 117
Santa : I am a Proud Sardar, My son is in Medical College,
Banta : Really, what is he studying?
Santa : No he is not studying, they r Studying him.
Joke 118
Two rich men were talking over coffee and croissants at their country club one
day and one of them said to the other one, "Hey, I tell you my driver is really
stupid... you don't think so? Let me show you."
And he called his driver Banta Singh over and said, "Banta, here is a 10 dollar
bill, go to the car showroom and buy me a Mercedes."
To which Banta replied, "Yes Sir! Right away!" and rushed off to the showroom.
The rich man turned to his friend and said, "See, I told you he was stupid."
The other rich man said, "That's nothing, you want to see stupid, I will show
you stupid." And he called his driver, Santa Singh: "Santa, go home now and
check to see if I'm at home."
Santa said, "Yes Sir!! Right away, Sir" and ran home.
"See what I told you? He doesn't even have enough brains to know that I cannot
be at home if I am here."
Later on, the two drivers met on the road. Banta said to Santa, "Eh, you know my
boss is sooo stupid. He gave me 10 dollars and asked me to go to the car
showroom and buy him a Mercedes.....Doesn't he know that today is Sunday?? The
showroom is closed!"
Santa replied, "You think he is stupid, huh? My boss is worse, he asked me to go
home to check if he is at home....He's got a cellphone, right, he can just call
home to check!!!!
Joke 119
George Bush was sitting in his office wondering whom to invade next whenhis
telephone rang."Hallo, Mr. Bush!" a heavily accented voice said, "This is
Gurmukh from
Phagwara, District Kapurthala,Punjab. I am ringing to inform you that weare
officially declaring the war on you!""Well, Gurmukh," Bush replied, "This is
indeed important news! How big
is your army""Right now," said Gurmukh, after a moment's calculation, "there
ismyself, my cousin Sukhdev, my next door neighbour Bhagat, and the
entirekabaddi team from the gurudwara. That makes eight"
Bush paused. "I must tell you, Gurmukh that I have one million men in myarmy
waiting to move on my command.""Arrey O! Main kya.. " said Gurmukh. "I'll have
to ring you back!"
Sure enough, the next day, Gurmukh called again."Mr. Bush, it is Gurmukh, I'm
calling from Phagwara STD, the war isstill on! We have managed to
acquire some infantry equipment!""And what equipment would that be, Gurmukh"
Bush asked."Well, we have two combines, a donkey and Amrik's tractor."Bush
sighed. "I must tell you, Gurmukh, that I have 16,000 tanks and
14,000 armoured personnel carriers. Also, I've increased my army to1-1/2 million
since we last spoke.""Oh teri ...." said Gurmukh. "I'll have to get back to
you."Sure enough, Gurmukh rang again the next day.
"Mr. Bush, the war is still on! We have managed to get ourselvesairborne......
We've modified Amrik's tractor by adding a couple ofshotguns, sticking on some
wings and the pind's generator. Four school
pass boys from Malpur have joined us as well!"Bush was silent for a minute and
then cleared his throat. "I must tellyou, Gurmukh, that I have 10,000 bombers
and 20,000 fighter planes. Mymilitary complex is surrounded by laser-guided,
surface-to-air missile
sites. And since
we last spoke, I've increased my army to TWO MILLION!""Tera pala hove...." said
Gurmuk, "I'll have to ring you back."Sure enough, Gurmukh called again the next
day."Kiddan, Mr. Bush! I am sorry to tell you that we have had to call off
the war.""I'm sorry to hear that," said Bush. "Why the sudden change of
heart""Well," said Gurmukh, "we've all had a long chat over a couple oflassi's,
and decided there's no way we can feed two million prisoners
ofwars!"
Joke 120
One day Sardarji was sitting in his office on the thirteenth floor of a building
when a man came running in to his office and shouted, "Santa Singh your daughter
Preeti just got run over by a car on the road below".
Sardarji was in a panic. Not knowing what to do he jumped from his office
window. While coming down when he was near the tenth floor he remembered he
didn't have a daughter named Preeti.
When he was near the fifth floor he remembered he was not married.
When he was about to hit the ground he remembered he was not Santa Singh.
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