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Joke 91
Once a sardar was travelling in a plane when the airhostess announced that we
are now passing over the equator. The sardar got very excited, picked up his
binoculars and started searching for the equator. After some time he called the
airhostess and demanded.... I want so see the equator....I can't find it and u
said we are passing over it. The airhostess, embarrassed, replied "Sir, the
equator is just an imaginary line and you can't see it."
The sardar got furious and said -"But you just announced it and we are passing
over it so why can't we see it." This caused a big confusion and argument in the
plane and one crewmember passing by got an idea. He came over to the sardar and
said "Sardarji you look down with your binoculars and I will show you the
equator." The sardar looked down. The crew member plucked a hair from sardarji's
head and placed it in front of the binoculars.
"Sardarji can you see the equator?????" "Yes! yes!" replied the sardar, "I can
see it wide and clear. I can even see animals roaming over it!"
Joke 92
The Sardarji doctor was so afraid of bacteria, that he cooked his ice-cubes
before he put them in his drink.
Joke 93
Santa Singh and Banta Singh were sitting on a tree and Santa Singh was singing a
song. After 4 songs Santa Singh hung himself upside down and started singing
again.
Banta Singh : Santa Singh, what is the matter with you? Why are you hanging
upside down?
Santa Singh : I am singing the B side.
Joke 94
Sardar sent a SMS to his pregnant wife. Two seconds later a report came to his
phone and he started dancing. The report said, "DELIVERED".
Joke 95
A sardarji comes up to the Pakistan border on his bike. He's got two large bags
over his shoulders.
The guard Iqbal stops him and says, 'What's in the bags?' 'Sand,' answered the
Sardarji.
Iqbal says, 'We'll just see about that. Get off the bike.'
Iqbal's guard takes the bags and rips them apart, he empties them out and finds
nothing in them but sand. He detains the sardarji all night and has the sand
analyzed, only to discover that there is nothing but pure sand in the bags.
Iqbal releases the sardaji, puts the sand into new bags, hefts them onto the
sardarji's shoulders, and lets him cross the border.
A week later, the same thing happens. Iqbal asks, 'What have you got?' 'Sand,'
says the Sardarji.
Iqbal does his thorough examination and discovers that the bags contain nothing
but sand. He gives the sand back to the Sardar, and crosses the border on his
bike. This sequence of events is repeated every day for three years.
Finally, the Sardarji doesn't show up one day and the guard, Iqbal, meets him in
a 'Dhaba' in Islamabad.
'Hey, Buddy,' says Iqbal, 'I know you are smuggling something. It's driving me
crazy. It's all I think about...I can't sleep. Just between you and me, what are
you smuggling?'
The Sardarji, sips his Lassi and says, 'Bikes'
Joke 96
Santa and Banta Singh planned , practiced for days and rehearsed ... and finally
the Final day dawned ... They called the most intelligent men to be the Judges.
The First Question : What's the Capital of Delhi ??
Santa : D.
Banta : D.
Joke 97
A Sardarji went to US and had a meeting with George Bush.
Bush: I want to show you the US advancement. Come with me. He takes him to a
forest.
Bush: Dig the ground. Sardarji did it.
Bush: more...more...more... Sardarji went up to 100 feet.
Bush: So now, try to search something.
Sardarji: I got a wire.
Bush : you know, it shows that even 100 years ago we used to have telephones.
Sardarji became frustrated. He invited Bush to India. Next year Bush was in
India Sardarji : I want to show you our advancement. The same...he takes Bush to
a forest.
Sardarji : Dig it. Bush does.
Sardarji : more...more...more... Bush goes up to almost 400 feet..
Sardarji : try to find something. Bush tries.
Sardarji : Did you get anything?
Bush : No, there is nothing here.
Sardarji : you know, it shows that even 400 years ago we used to have WIRELESS!!
Joke 98
One afternoon, George Bush was sitting in his office when his telephone rang.
"Hello Mr.Bush," a heavily accented voice says. "This is Santa Singh down in
Chandigarh, Punjab. I am ringing to inform you that I am officially declaring
war on you!"
Well, Santa Singh," Bush replies, "This indeed is important news! Tell me, how
big is your army?"
At this moment in time," says Santa Singh after a moments calculation, "There is
myself, my cousin Banta, my next door neighbour Gurginder and the entire Kabbadi
team from the Village. That makes 8!"
Bill sighs and says, "I must tell you Santa Singh that I have 1 million men in
my army waiting to move on my word"
OK," says Santa Singh. "I'll have to ring you back!"
Sure enough, the next day Santa Singh calls back.
"Right Mr. Bush, the war is still on! We have managed to acquire some
equipment!"
"What equipment would that be, Santa Singh?" Bill asks.
Well, we have 2 combine harvesters, a bulldozer and Gill's tractor from the
farm"
Once more Bush sighs and says, "I must tell you Santa Singh that I have 50,000
tanks, 2000 mine layers, 10,000 armored cars and my army has increased to 1 and
a half million since we last spoke"
"I'll be dogged!" says Santa Singh. "I'll have to ring you back!"
Sure enough, Santa Singh calls again the next day. "Right Mr. Bush, the war is
still on! We have managed to get ourselves airborne! We've gotten out old
Govind's crop sprayer with a couple of rifles in the cockpit and the Hockey team
has joined us as well!"
Once more Bush sighs and says "I must tell you Santa Singh that I have 4000
bombers and 8000 high maneuverability attack planes and my military
installations are surrounded by laser guided surface to air missiles and since
we last spoke, my army has increased to 2 million."
"Oh cripes," says Santa Singh. "I'll have to ring you back" Sure enough, Santa
Singh calls again the next day. "Right Mr. Bush, I am sorry to tell you that we
have had to call off the war"
"I'm very sorry to hear that," says Bush. "Why the sudden change of heart?"
"Well," says Santa Singh, "We've all had a chat and t'be sure, there's no way we
can cope with 2 million prisoners of war"
Joke 99
Three Sardars talk about their "stupid" wives. One says that his wife bought
yesterday 10 pounds of dog food, and they don't have a dog at all. The second
says that his wife bought a lawn mower, and they don't have a garden at all. The
third says that his wife went to a cruise and bought two dozens of condoms, and
she doesn't have a penis at all.
Joke 100
Smart Sardarji - A Sardarji and an American are seated next to each other on a
flight from Los Angeles to New York. The American asks if he would like to play
a fun game.
The Sardarji, tired, just wants to take a nap, so he politely declines and rolls
over to the window to catch a few winks.
The American persists and explains that the game is easy and a lot of fun. He
says, "I ask you a question, and if you don't know the answer, you pay me five
dollars, and vice versa."
Again, he declines and tries to get some sleep.
The American, now agitated, says, "Okay, if you don't know the answer, you pay
me $5,and if I don't know the answer, I will pay you $500."
This catches the Sardarji's attention and, figuring there will be no end to this
torment, agrees to the game.
The American asks the first question: "What's the distance from the earth to the
moon?"
The Sardarji doesn't say a word, reaches into his wallet,pulls out a $5.00 bill,
and hands it to the American.
"Okay," says the American, "your turn".
He asks, "What goes up a hill with three legs and comes down with four legs?"
The American, puzzled, takes out his laptop computer & searches all his
preferences........no answer. He taps into the air phone with his modem and
searches the Internet and the Library of Congress... no answer.
Frustrated, he sends e-mails to all his friends and coworkers but to no avail.
After an hour, he wakes the Sardarji and hands him $500.
The Sardarji thanks him and turns back to get some more sleep.
The American, who is more than a little miffed, stirs the Sardarji and asks,
"Well, what's the answer?"
Without a word, the Sardarji reaches into his purse,hands the american $5,and
goes back to sleep.
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