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Joke 61
This blonde called 911, screaming "Help me, Help me my house is on fire".
The dispatch said "Mam, please calm down. I need to get some information from
you".
Again the blonde yelled "Help me, Help me my house is on fire".
The dispatch said "Mam calm down, How do we get to your house?".
The blonde replied "Duh... In the big red truck".
Joke
62
A blond, a brunette, and a redhead were trying out for a new NASA experiment on
sending women to different planets. First, they called the brunette in and asked
her a question.
"If you could go to any planet, what planet would you want to go to and why?"
After pondering the question she answered, "I would like to go to Mars because
it seems so interesting with all the recent news about possible extra
terrestrial life on the planet."
They said "well okay, thank you." And told her that they would get back to her.
Next, the redhead entered the room and the NASA people asked her the same
question. In reply, "I would like to go to Saturn to see all of its rings."
Again, "thank you" and they would get back to her.
Finally, the blond entered the room and they asked her the same question they
asked the brunette and the redhead. She thought for a while and replied, "I
would like to go to the sun."
The people from NASA replied, "why, don't you know that if you went to the sun
you would burn to death?"
The blond smirked and put her hands on her hips. "Are you guys dumb? I'd go at
night!"
Joke 63
There was a blonde a redhead and a brunette.
They all decided to go to the bar and they got fake ids cause they were
underage.
So they go in and the bartender knows they are underage so he call the cops.
The redhead informs the girls that the bartender has called the cops and they
have to leave.
So they go out the back door and they see this barn.
They go inside and the redhead notices 3 potato sacks on the floor.
She tells the girls to each hide in a potato sack.
Then the police arrive in the bar, and the bartender takes them out back to look
around.
They go into the barn and look everywhere.
One cop says "They might be in those potato sacks".
So he kicks the first one containing the redhead and hears "woof woof". "That's
a dog" he thinks to himself.
He kicks the second bag containing the brunette and hears "Meow, meow" "Well
that must be a cat" he thinks.
Finally, he kicks the last bag containing the blonde and hears in a slow voice "po...ta...to...es!"
Joke 64
Three construction workers are on the seventy-fifth floor of a non-finished
building. The Italian opens his lunch box to find a pizza and says "Man, if I
get pizza one more time I am going to jump off this building and fall to my
death!" The Chinese opens his lunch box to find rice and says "Man, if I get
rice one more time I am going to jump off this building and fall to my death!"
The blonde opens his lunch box to find a cheeseburger and says" Man, if I get a
cheeseburger one more time I'm going to jump off this building and fall to my
death!"
So the next day they all got the same thing and they jumped off the building to
their death. That weekend at the funeral, the Italian and the Chinese wives are
crying and saying "I would have fixed him something else for lunch but he never
told me." And as the two wives stare at the blondes wife, they both ask why she
isn't sad about her husbands death, the blonde replies "Don't look at me, he
packs his own lunch."
Joke 65
A young blonde woman is distraught because she fears her husband is having an
affair, so she goes to a gun shop and buys a
handgun. The next day she comes home to find her husband in bed with a beautiful
redhead. She grabs the gun and holds it to her own head. The husband jumps out
of bed, begging and pleading with her not to shoot herself. Hysterically the
blonde responds to the husband, "Shut up...you're next!"
Joke 66
There are three moms. A Brunette, a Redhead, and a Blonde.
They were all talking one day and the brunette says "Oh my gosh y'all I went
through my daughter's purse the other day to get
some gum, and I found an ounce of weed. I cannot believe she smokes weed" They
comfort her, and the redhead says "Yeah, well I found a fake I. D. In my
daughter's purse. I cannot believe she has one".
So they all comfort her. Then the blonde says "That's nothing. I found a condom
in my daughter's purse. I just cannot believe she has a penis"
Joke 67
Two blondes walk into a bar, each orders a drink. They go and sit down and start
toasting and cheering, "51 days! 51 days!!" About five minutes later, another
blonde walks in, orders a drink, and joins the other two in the cheering.
Finally, another blonde walks in with what looks like a cardboard picture. She
puts the picture thing in the middle of the table, and starts cheering with the
others, "51 days! 51 days!! The Bar Tender starts too get really curious, so he
walks over to discover that the picture is a Cookie Monster puzzle. He walks
over to one of the blondes and asks, "What on earth are you doing??" "Well," the
blonde says, "everyone thinks blondes are so stupid, so we proved them wrong. On
the box of this puzzle, it says 2-4 years, but we finished it in only 51 days!!!
Joke 68
One day a blond walks into a doctors office with both of her ears burnt.
The doctor asks her what had happened.
She says, "well... when I was ironing my work suit the phone rang and I
mistakenly picked up the iron instead of the phone.
"Well that explains one ear, but what about the other."
"The bastard called again"
Joke 69
A blonde was at a coke machine and and put her change in and mashed a button and
out comes a drink. So she puts some more change in and pushed another button and
out comes a drink. She keeps putting change in and pushing buttons and getting
drinks. Here comes a man and asks the blonde if she is gonna be through at this
machine any time soon and she responds " I'm not gonna quit until I stop
winning."
Joke 70
She Was So Blond if ...
She thought a quarterback was a refund.
She got locked in a grocery store and starved to death.
If you gave her a penny for intelligence, you'd get change back.
They had to burn the school down to get her out of third grade.
Under "education" on her job application, she put "Hooked On Phonics".
She tripped over a cordless phone.
She took a ruler to bed to see how long she slept.
At the bottom of the application where it says "sign here"...she put
"Sagittarius".
She asked for a price check at the Dollar Store.
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