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Joke 31
A blonde walks into a library and says, "Can I have a burger and fries?" The
librarian says, "I'm sorry, this is a library." So the blonde whispers, "Can I
have a burger and fries?"
Joke
32
A blonde buys a ticket and wins the lottery. She goes to lottery headquarters to
claim it and the man verifies her ticket
number. The blonde says, "I want my $20 million." The man replied, "No, sorry
lady. It doesn't work that way. We give you a
million today and then you'll get the rest spread out for the next 19 years."
The blonde said, "Oh, no. I want all my money right
now! I won it and I want it." Again, the man explain that she would only get a
million that day and the rest during the next 19
years. The blonde, furious with the man, screams out, "Look, I want my money! If
you're not going to give me my $20 million
right now, then I want my dollar back!"
Joke 33
A blonde calls Delta Airlines and asks, "Can you tell me how long it'll take to
fly from San Francisco to New York City?"
The agent replies, "Just a minute..." "Thank you," the blonde says, and hangs
up.
Joke 34
A blonde walks into a bank in New York City and asks for the loan officer. She
says she's going to Europe on business for two
weeks and needs to borrow $5,000. The bank officer says the bank will need some
kind of security for the loan, so the blonde
hands over the keys to a new Rolls Royce. The car is parked on the street in
front of the bank, she has the title and everything
checks out. The bank agrees to accept the car as collateral for the loan. The
bank's president and its officers all enjoy a good
laugh at the blonde for using a $250,000 Rolls as collateral against a $5,000
loan. An employee of the bank then proceeds to
drive the Rolls into the bank's underground garage and parks it there.
Two weeks later, the blonde returns, repays the $5,000 and the interest, which
comes to $15.41. The loan officer says, "Miss,
we are very happy to have had your business, and this transaction has worked out
very nicely, but we are a little puzzled.
While you were away, we checked you out and found that you are a
multimillionaire. What puzzles us is, why would you
bother to borrow $5,000?" The blond replies." Where else in New York City can I
park my car for two weeks for
only $15.41 and expect it to be there when I return?" Finally, a smart blonde.
Joke 35
There were two blondes going to California for the summer, they are about two
hours into the flight and the pilot gets on the
intercom and says we just lost an engine but it is all right we have three more
but it will take us an hour longer. A half hour
later he gets on the intercom again and says we just lost another engine but its
all right we have two more it will take us
another half hour though. One of the blondes says "If we lose the two last
engines we will be up here all day"
Joke 36
Two blondes are in the woods hunting when one of them looks at the other and
said "dude i got to take a dump " the
other one says "you got a dollar" oh yeah I"ll use that to wipe my butt so he
went behind the trees and came back with poop
all over his hands and clothes "what the heck happen to you!!! "have you ever
wiped your butt with 3 quaters 2 dimes and a
nickel’!!!!!!!
Joke 37
A blonde and a brunette are driving down the highway in a convertible. The
brunette knows that she's speeding so she asks
the blonde if there's a cop behind them. The blonde looks behind her and sees a
cop and tells the brunette. The brunette then
asks if his he's got his lights on. The blonde replies
"Yes...No...Yes...No...Yes...No"
Joke 38
A beautiful blonde lady stepped onto a plane going to L.A. and sat down in first
class. The flight attendant proceeded to go
around the airplane checking the ticket stubs of each passenger to make sure
they were all in the right seats. When she got
to the Blonde woman she noticed that it was for Coach seating, not first class.
She tells the woman, "You're ticket says coach
maam and we have a full flight today. I'm going to have to ask you to move." To
which the blonde replies, "You don't
understand, I'm blonde, beautiful, I'm going to L.A. and I'm getting there in
first class." Confused, the stewardess gets her
supervisor. Again, she tells the woman that she must move. Again, the blonde
replies, "You don't understand, I'm blonde,
beautiful, I'm going to L.A. and I'm getting there in first class." Also
confused, they go get the captain. He tells the woman that
she must move. The blonde starts to say, "You don't understand, I'm blonde,
beautiful..." when he interrupts and asks, "Can I
whisper something in your ear?" "Sure" she replies and he proceeds to whisper
something in her ear. Suddenly she gets up
and goes back to coach seating with a look of surprise on her face. The flight
attendants are startled. "How did you get her to
move?" "I told her that first class wasn't going to L.A."
Joke 39
There was three blondes at the University of Texas. The Dean gave them the job
of measuring the height of the new
flagpole. So they put the flag pole in the base and are then on ladders trying
to measure the flagpole. Finally an architect walks
by and sees they are having trouble so he takes the pole out of the ground and
lays it down and pulls out his tape measure
and measures the pole. He writes the measurement on a piece of paper and walks
away. The blondes look at each other and
say "That damn architects give us length when we wanted height.
Joke 40
A brunette says to a blonde "Look! A dead bird!" and the blonde looks up and
says "Where?"
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