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Joke 11
A blonde took her dog to the vet for its annual check-up. "Your dog is
overweight," the vet said. "You should cut back on his food a little and make
sure he gets some exercise. Try playing fetch with him." "That's impossible,"
the blonde replied. "I can't play fetch with my dog." "Why not?" asked the
puzzled vet. "Because," the blonde said, "he can't throw."
Joke
12
A small clothing shop had been burglarized and a detective was questioning the
blonde owner about how much she had lost.
"It's pretty bad," she said, "but not as bad as it could have been had he robbed
me yesterday." "Why would you say that?" the
detective asked. "Because everything was on sale today," the blonde explained.
Joke 13
A young blonde farm girl answers the door and sees an older neighbor there.
"Daddy isn't home, but I know what you want and
I can help you," she says. "You want our bull to service your cow. Well, Daddy
charges $100 for his best bull." "That's not
what I want," the neighbor says. "Well, we do have a young bull who's just
starting out. Daddy charges $50 for him," the girl
says. "That's not what I want," the neighbor sternly says. "We have an old bull
out in the pasture. He can still do the job.
Daddy only charges $20 for him," says the girl. "That's not what I want. I came
here to see your father about your brother," the
neighbor explains. "Your brother, Henry, made my daughter pregnant." "Oh! Well,
you'd better talk to Daddy about that," the
girl says, "'cause I don't know what he charges for Henry."
Joke 14
There once was a Blonde, Brunette, and a Red-Head who were stuck on a burning
building. Some fireman came and
said," Brunette, Brunette, Jump down down!" So she jumped but they moved the
blanket they had so she fell on the ground
and died. Then they said," Red-Head, Read-Head, Jump down, Jump down!" And she
said," No I saw what you did to the
Brunette!" They just said, "Thats because we don't like Brunettes!" So she
jumped but they moved the blanket they had so then
she fell on the ground and died. Then they said," Blonde, Blonde Jump down, Jump
down!" And she said," No I saw what you did
to the Brunette and the Red-Head!" They just said, "Thats because we don't like
Brunettes and Red-Heads!" "Oh no you don't!"
she yelled." I'm not that stupid, Just put the blanket on the ground and step
away!"
Joke 15
Two sisters, one blonde and one brunette, inherit the family ranch.
Unfortunately, after just a few years, they are in financial trouble. In order
to keep the bank from repossessing the ranch, they need to purchase a bull so
that they can breed their own stock. The brunette balances their checkbook, then
takes their last $600 out west to another ranch where a man has a prize bull for
sale. Upon leaving, she tells her sister, ''When I get there, if I decide to buy
the bull, I'll contact you to drive out after me and haul it home.'' The
brunette arrives at the man's ranch, inspects the bull, and decides she does
want to buy it. The man tells her that he can sell it for $599, no less. After
paying him, she drives to the nearest town to send her sister a telegram to tell
her the news. She walks into the telegraph office, and says, ''I want to send a
telegram to my sister telling her that I've bought a bull for our ranch. I need
her to hitch the trailer to our pick-up truck and drive out here so we can haul
it home.'' The telegraph operator explains that he'll be glad to help her, then
adds, ''It's just 99 cents a word.'' Well, with only $1 left after paying for
the bull, the brunette realizes that she'll only be able to send her sister one
word. After thinking for a few minutes, she nods, and says, ''I want you to send
her the word, 'comfortable.''' The telegraph operator shakes his head. ''How is
she ever going to know that you want her to hitch the trailer to your pick-up
truck and drive out here to haul that bull back to your ranch if you send her
the word, 'comfortable?'" The brunette explains, ''My sister's blonde. She'll
read it slow.''
Joke 16
A police officer stops a blonde for speeding and asks her very nicely if he
could see her license.
She replied in a huff, "I wish you guys could get your act together. Just
yesterday you take away my license and then today
you expect me to show it to you."
Joke 17
Q: Why are there no ice cubes in the blonde's freezer?
A: She forgot the recipe.
Joke 18
A cop saw a young blonde woman down on her knees under a streetlight. "Can I
help you?" he asked.
Replied the woman, "I dropped my diamond ring and I'm looking for it."
Asked the cop "Did you drop it right here?"
"No," responded the blonde, "I dropped it about a block away, but the light's
better here."
Joke 19
3 friends, a blonde, a brunette and a redhead are stuck on an island.
For years, they live there, and one day they find a magic lamp.
They rub it, and sure enough, out comes a genie. The genie says "since I can
only give out 3 wishes, you may each have
one."
So the brunette goes first, "I have been stuck here for years, I miss my family
and my husband and my life - I just want to go
home."
POOF, she is gone.
The redhead makes her wish, "This place sucks, I want to go home too."
POOF, she is gone.
The blonde starts crying uncontrollably.
The genie asks, "What is the matter?"
The blonde said, "I wish my friends were here."
Joke 20
A blonde and a redhead met in a bar after work for a drink, and were watching
the 6 O'clock news. A man was shown threatening to jump from the Brooklyn
Bridge. The blonde bet the redhead $50 that he wouldn't jump, and the redhead
replied, 'I'll take that bet!' Anyway, sure enough, he jumped, so the blonde
gave the redhead the $50 she owed. The redhead said 'I can't take this, you're
my friend.' The blonde said 'No. A bet's a bet'. So the redhead said 'Listen, I
have to admit, I saw this on the 5 O'clock news, so I can't take your money'.
The blonde replied, 'Well, so did I, but I never thought he'd jump again!'
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